She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:12
Perhaps one of the most prevalent attitudes in society is selfishness, thinking of ourselves, and putting ourselves first. However, selfishness is not something that we have to learn. That is why many children's first word is "Mine!" The truth is that selfishness destroys relationships and quite honestly destroys a person. There is a far better way to live than to be wrapped up in our selfishness, and that is thinking of others and looking out for their needs before our own.
Most of Proverbs 31 is a chapter about what many refer to as "a wife of noble character." It speaks to any person of good character. In this chapter, the writer of this Proverb exclaims that finding a wife of character is "more precious than rubies" (verse 10). This wife brings her husband "good, and not harm, all the days of her life" (verse 12). This means that she not only looks out for her interest but also her husband's. This is not just a description of a good wife. It is a description of a good person in general. You see, any follower of Christ knows that our lives are not meant to be about us. Paul explained it this way in Philippians 2: "Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too" (verse 4). What does it look like to live selflessly? It means being compassionate and working hard to provide for your family. These are just a few practical ways we can live selflessly.
If we want to have excellent relationships, we must stop living selfishly. Of course, we have to look out for the needs of others, too, especially for our spouse if we are married. But, unlike selfishness, selflessness does need to be learned and practiced. Our best example to model after is Jesus, who laid His interests down for the sake of our salvation when He came to earth and died on the cross for our sins. May we all model Christ's example of selflessness and have stronger marriages and relationships for it.
Do an honest heart check now. Is there any area of your life where you have been looking out for only yourself, refusing to see the needs of others? Commit today to let go of that selfishness and start looking out for the needs of the people around you. As a result, your relationships will become stronger, and you will become more and more like Christ.
Proverbs 31:10-18 (NLT)
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
She is more precious than rubies.
Her husband can trust her,
and she will greatly enrich his life.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She finds wool and flax
and busily spins it.
She is like a merchant’s ship,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.
She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She is energetic and strong,
a hard worker.
She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
her lamp burns late into the night.
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