One thing that is very clear about relationships is that they take work. We cannot put minimal effort into our relationships and expect to have great relationships. We have to work to have strong and thriving relationships with anyone. This is particularly true in our marriages. We must work hard if we want strong marriages that point people to God. Today we will look at David's marriages to Michal and Bathsheba and learn how to avoid breakdowns in our relationships.
BREAK THE ICE
Who do you know who has modeled a strong marriage? What do they do well?
SMALL GROUP QUESTIONS
Bible Study Questions
1. What are some reasons some of our relationships struggle?
WATCH SERMON RECAP
2. Read 2 Samuel 6:16-23. Describe Michal's response to David's actions. How might that response have impacted their relationship?
2 Samuel 6:16-21
16 But as the Ark of the Lord entered the City of David, Michal, the daughter of Saul, looked down from her window. When she saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, she was filled with contempt for him. 17 They brought the Ark of the Lord and set it in its place inside the special tent David had prepared for it. And David sacrificed burnt offerings and peace offerings to the Lord. 18 When he had finished his sacrifices, David blessed the people in the name of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. 19 Then he gave to every Israelite man and woman in the crowd a loaf of bread, a cake of dates, and a cake of raisins. Then all the people returned to their homes. 20 When David returned home to bless his own family, Michal, the daughter of Saul, came out to meet him. She said in disgust, “How distinguished the king of Israel looked today, shamelessly exposing himself to the servant girls like any vulgar person might do!” 21 David retorted to Michal, “I was dancing before the Lord, who chose me above your father and all his family! He appointed me as the leader of Israel, the people of the Lord, so I celebrate before the Lord.
16 But as the Ark of the Lord entered the City of David, Michal, the daughter of Saul, looked down from her window. When she saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, she was filled with contempt for him.
17 They brought the Ark of the Lord and set it in its place inside the special tent David had prepared for it. And David sacrificed burnt offerings and peace offerings to the Lord. 18 When he had finished his sacrifices, David blessed the people in the name of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. 19 Then he gave to every Israelite man and woman in the crowd a loaf of bread, a cake of dates, and a cake of raisins. Then all the people returned to their homes.
20 When David returned home to bless his own family, Michal, the daughter of Saul, came out to meet him. She said in disgust, “How distinguished the king of Israel looked today, shamelessly exposing himself to the servant girls like any vulgar person might do!”
21 David retorted to Michal, “I was dancing before the Lord, who chose me above your father and all his family! He appointed me as the leader of Israel, the people of the Lord, so I celebrate before the Lord.
3. Read 2 Samuel 11:1-5. What were the warning signs for David that he ignored?
2 Samuel 11:1-5
In the spring of the year, when kings normally go out to war, David sent Joab and the Israelite army to fight the Ammonites. They destroyed the Ammonite army and laid siege to the city of Rabbah. However, David stayed behind in Jerusalem.
2 Late one afternoon, after his midday rest, David got out of bed and was walking on the roof of the palace. As he looked out over the city, he noticed a woman of unusual beauty taking a bath. 3 He sent someone to find out who she was, and he was told, “She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” 4 Then David sent messengers to get her; and when she came to the palace, he slept with her. She had just completed the purification rites after having her menstrual period. Then she returned home. 5 Later, when Bathsheba discovered that she was pregnant, she sent David a message, saying, “I’m pregnant.”
4. Read 2 Samuel 12:1-13. Describe God's response to David's sin.
2 Samuel 12:1-13
So the Lord sent Nathan the prophet to tell David this story: “There were two men in a certain town. One was rich, and one was poor. 2 The rich man owned a great many sheep and cattle. 3 The poor man owned nothing but one little lamb he had bought. He raised that little lamb, and it grew up with his children. It ate from the man’s own plate and drank from his cup. He cuddled it in his arms like a baby daughter. 4 One day a guest arrived at the home of the rich man. But instead of killing an animal from his own flock or herd, he took the poor man’s lamb and killed it and prepared it for his guest.” 5 David was furious. “As surely as the Lord lives,” he vowed, “any man who would do such a thing deserves to die! 6 He must repay four lambs to the poor man for the one he stole and for having no pity.” 7 Then Nathan said to David, “You are that man! The Lord, the God of Israel, says: I anointed you king of Israel and saved you from the power of Saul. 8 I gave you your master’s house and his wives and the kingdoms of Israel and Judah. And if that had not been enough, I would have given you much, much more. 9 Why, then, have you despised the word of the Lord and done this horrible deed? For you have murdered Uriah the Hittite with the sword of the Ammonites and stolen his wife. 10 From this time on, your family will live by the sword because you have despised me by taking Uriah’s wife to be your own. 11 “This is what the Lord says: Because of what you have done, I will cause your own household to rebel against you. I will give your wives to another man before your very eyes, and he will go to bed with them in public view. 12 You did it secretly, but I will make this happen to you openly in the sight of all Israel.” 13 Then David confessed to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan replied, “Yes, but the Lord has forgiven you, and you won’t die for this sin.
So the Lord sent Nathan the prophet to tell David this story: “There were two men in a certain town. One was rich, and one was poor. 2 The rich man owned a great many sheep and cattle. 3 The poor man owned nothing but one little lamb he had bought. He raised that little lamb, and it grew up with his children. It ate from the man’s own plate and drank from his cup. He cuddled it in his arms like a baby daughter. 4 One day a guest arrived at the home of the rich man. But instead of killing an animal from his own flock or herd, he took the poor man’s lamb and killed it and prepared it for his guest.”
5 David was furious. “As surely as the Lord lives,” he vowed, “any man who would do such a thing deserves to die! 6 He must repay four lambs to the poor man for the one he stole and for having no pity.”
7 Then Nathan said to David, “You are that man! The Lord, the God of Israel, says: I anointed you king of Israel and saved you from the power of Saul. 8 I gave you your master’s house and his wives and the kingdoms of Israel and Judah. And if that had not been enough, I would have given you much, much more. 9 Why, then, have you despised the word of the Lord and done this horrible deed? For you have murdered Uriah the Hittite with the sword of the Ammonites and stolen his wife. 10 From this time on, your family will live by the sword because you have despised me by taking Uriah’s wife to be your own.
11 “This is what the Lord says: Because of what you have done, I will cause your own household to rebel against you. I will give your wives to another man before your very eyes, and he will go to bed with them in public view. 12 You did it secretly, but I will make this happen to you openly in the sight of all Israel.”
13 Then David confessed to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.”
Nathan replied, “Yes, but the Lord has forgiven you, and you won’t die for this sin.
Application
1. How do people today use their words to tear people down like Michal?
2. In what ways does complacency impact relationships today, much like it impacted David's?
3. What is one relationship that needs growth? How can you take a step towards helping that relationship be strengthened?
MOVING FORWARD
Take some time to think about an area where you need to grow regarding relationships. Maybe you need to grow by forgiving, having difficult conversations, or making time for your loved ones. Whatever that is, please share it with your group. After everyone has shared, pray that God will help each of you grow in that area.
GOING DEEPER
When it comes to our relationships, we often underestimate the importance of our words. Our words are powerful. They can build others up and just as quickly tear them down. If we want to be in growing, thriving relationships with the people around us, we have to pay attention to our words. Let's take a deep dive into the power of our words and be encouraged to leverage our words so that we build others up, especially our spouse, for those who are married.
Words Have Power:
If we want to use our words to influence the people around us, we must first recognize our words' power. After all, when we realize how significant our words are, we will use our words with care. After all, we are careful with anything that has value.
Proverbs 18:20-21 Wise words satisfy like a good meal; the right words bring satisfaction. 21 The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.
Proverbs 18:20-21
Wise words satisfy like a good meal; the right words bring satisfaction. 21 The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.
Wise words satisfy like a good meal;
the right words bring satisfaction.
21 The tongue can bring death or life;
those who love to talk will reap the consequences.
Describe the power that our words can have according to these verses.
How have you seen the power words can have in your own life?
Read Proverbs 15:1. How can our words have power during conflict?
Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.
Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.
A gentle answer deflects anger,
but harsh words make tempers flare.
How is this response different from what we would expect during conflict?
We Must Be Careful with Our Words:
Once we understand the power of our words, we also understand the responsibility to use our words with care. Because our words have the potential to destroy or build up, we have to exercise caution and think carefully about the words we say.
Read James 3:1-12. How do the comparisons James uses in this passage of Scripture illustrate the importance of carefully using our words?
Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2 Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.
3 We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. 4 And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. 5 In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches.
But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. 6 And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.
7 People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, 8 but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. 9 Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. 10 And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! 11 Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? 12 Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs? No, and you can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring.
Read James 1:19. According to this passage of Scripture, how do we speak carefully with our words?
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
Do you find it difficult or easy to be careful with your words? Why?
We Must Be Intentional With Our Words:
Knowing the power of our words is not enough. We have to act on this knowledge. We must be intentional every day when we speak, knowing that our words can either build up or tear down. This means choosing to speak words that build people up around us every day.
Ephesians 4:29
Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
2. According to this verse, how can we be intentional with our words?
3. What happens when we speak with these kinds of intentional, encouraging words?
4. Why is intentionality necessary when it comes to the words that we speak?
Reflect:
Whether we realize it or not, our words matter. They have the power to build others up, especially in our marriages. But will we choose to carefully and intentionally use our words to encourage the people around us? Please take a few moments to reflect on the passages of Scripture that we have studied.
When you evaluate your own words, what area needs improvement?
How would focusing on encouraging words impact your relationships, especially your marriages, for those who are married?
How can you practice intentionally encouraging the people in your life this week?
When you are finished sharing, pray together. Pray that God would give you all spirits of encouragement as you all set out to encourage the people around you. Pray that your relationships will grow and strengthen as you encourage the people around you.
MONTHLY MEMORY VERSE (Available for download on Sagebrush App)
Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. Ephesians 5:2
Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.
Ephesians 5:2
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