Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. Psalm 139:23-24
When it comes to our relationships, we cannot control how other people will act or treat us. Those things are entirely out of our hands. We cannot make anyone speak kind words or do kind actions. What we can control and are in charge of is ourselves. We can control our own words and actions. We can control how we respond to people, the words we say, and the way we live our lives. Because of this, when it comes to our relationships, instead of focusing on the other person and what they can do (or not do), focusing on ourselves is far better. As we examine our own hearts, words, and actions, we can make changes accordingly, knowing that we are responsible for ourselves and how we respond.
David understood the importance of self-reflection and focusing on himself and his own actions. In Psalm 139, he wrote a profound prayer to God. Toward the end of his prayer, he focused on his enemies. He wrote, “Lord, if only you would destroy the wicked! Your enemies misuse your name…O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you? Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you? Yes, I hate them with total hatred, for your enemies are my enemies” (verses 19-22). Can you hear the distress in David’s voice over his enemies? Next, his prayer took a shift. He shifted his focus from his enemies to himself. He wrote, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life” (verses 23-24). This shift from David is profound. He could not control the actions of his enemies, but he could be responsible for himself. As a result, he invited God to search his heart and point out any sin or anything that offended Him.
My friend, we cannot control how others respond to us, but we can control our own response. We can control how we act, speak, and treat others. We are responsible for ourselves, and therefore must focus on ourselves and the ways we can change and grow. As we do, we will see a shift in our relationships as we treat those in our lives with God’s love and get rid of sin in our lives. We cannot change others, but we can invite God to change our own hearts.
Pray the prayer of David now in Psalm 139:23-24. As you pray, invite God to search your heart, point out any sin, and lead you on the right path. Focus on yourself and the changes you need to make, rather than on others. As you do, you will even see your relationships improve as your growth impacts your relationships, too.
Psalm 139:1-24
1 O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. 2 You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. 3 You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. 4 You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. 5 You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!
7 I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! 8 If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. 9 If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, 10 even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me. 11 I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night— 12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to you.
13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. 15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. 16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! 18 I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!
19 O God, if only you would destroy the wicked! Get out of my life, you murderers! 20 They blaspheme you; your enemies misuse your name. 21 O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you? Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you? 22 Yes, I hate them with total hatred, for your enemies are my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
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