Daily Devotionals

X Factor of Friendship Week 2: Wednesday

If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. Matthew 18:15

Have you ever been stuck in the middle, watching people fight in front of you? Watching a fight play out in front of you is not comfortable. It is awkward. Airing out our grievances and arguing in front of others is never the way to handle conflict. Instead, Scripture teaches us to handle our conflicts privately and keep quiet about them.  

When teaching about facing conflict in Matthew 18, Jesus said, "If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense" (verse 15). Instead of telling someone else we are angry and telling everyone how we have been hurt, we are to go directly to the person who has hurt us first. The confrontation is to be private. What are the benefits of confronting someone privately? The first benefit is that it shows respect for the person we are in conflict with and our relationship with them. Showing respect for the people we are in a relationship with aids in restoration. Second, going to the person privately keeps other people out of conflict and keeps the conflict from escalating. When we handle conflict privately and reach an agreement, we can move forward without involving others. Jesus continued teaching that we can turn to others if that person does not listen, but our first defense is to have a private conversation when someone has hurt us, and we have a conflict with them. 

Handling conflict privately is not always our natural tendency. We want to turn to other people and gossip and share how we have been wronged. We want validation from other people. We desire to have other people become angry with us. Instead, Jesus teaches us to go quietly and reconcile with those who have hurt us. This is the way of Christ. This is the way to peace and reconciliation. 

Moving toward action

Our mission today is crystal clear. Is there someone you are having a conflict with? Maybe you have been discussing your conflict with others instead of the person you have a conflict with. Commit today to connect with them privately to discuss your conflict rather than discuss it with others or in front of others. Before you discuss the conflict, remember to pray for peace, understanding, and reconciliation with that person. 

Going Deeper

Going Deeper - Matthew 18:15-25

"If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. 16 But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. 17 If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won't accept the church's decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.

18 "I tell you the truth, whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven.

19 "I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. 20 For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them."

Parable of the Unforgiving Debtor
21 Then Peter came to him and asked, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?"

22 "No, not seven times," Jesus replied, "but seventy times seven!

23 "Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. 24 In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. 25 He couldn't pay, so his master ordered that he be sold-along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned-to pay the debt."