Sex Talk: Week 2

DEVOTIONAL

I learned something really interesting recently while I was listening to a sermon by Pastor David Marvin. Apparently, Pineapples used to be incredibly valuable. Like insanely valuable. Back in the 1600’s/1700’s they were considered more valuable than a car would be today. It was a status symbol. You wouldn’t even eat it; it was something you would put on display and show it off to show that you had arrived in life. Can you imagine that? Nowadays you can go to the grocery store and spend like $3 on a pineapple. You would never put a pineapple on display to show your wealth, you can just go pick one up at walmart, it is no longer a big deal. So what changed?

Well as David Marvin pointed out, the pineapple hasn’t changed at all, but our perspective on it has. The way we view the pineapple is completely different, why? Because it’s not rare anymore. It’s not something special or unique, it is something everyone can access. The value of the pineapple has plummeted not because it changed but because the way we view it has.

That is a great picture of our view on sex. Sex has been so devalued over time. God designed sex to be something that was honored that was specifically for the context of marriage. Something that was valued and kept sacred. But nowadays what was once supposed to be considered sacred, is now treated like it’s no big deal. It’s just sex. It doesn’t mean anything,

Here’s the problem with that. Even though we no longer view sex as sacred or valuable. It is still the same as it was when God created it and God designed for it to be kept sacred in marriage for a reason. The reason that he designed it that way is because He knows that

Sex is Powerful

When the Bible talks about marriage it says in Mark 10:8,

“and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh."

Then we see that same phrasing come up again in 1 Corinthians 6 when Paul is speaking out against the sexual sin in that church. It says,

“Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” 1 Corinthians 6:6

These verses show that when we have sex it connects us to the other person it creates an emotional and a spiritual bond. Science actually proves that too. The brain releases certain chemicals during sex that make you feel bonded and close to the other person.

Now within marriage, a relationship where you are committed to loving and protecting that person for life, that bond is a great thing. But when we take that outside of marriage. Think about how much damage that can cause to your heart. If you are creating this bond in your brain to another person who isn’t guaranteed to be yours forever. Or imagine how much damage it causes when you watch porn. This can lead to so much devastation and heartache that God wanted to protect us from. The reality is sex is powerful and in the wrong context sex leaves scars.

We saw that this weekend when we looked at the story of Samson. When you look at Samson’s life it is clear that he was driven by lust. He saw something and he decided that he wanted it. Let me be clear, that's not love. Deciding you have to have something based on the way they look, can only be described as lust. Lust was one of the things that caused so much destruction in his life. Lust caused great pain and harm in Samson’s life.

This is what we have to understand. God didn’t create these boundaries around sex because He wants us to be miserable or because He hates sex. Or because He wants to shame us and make us feel bad. No, God created sex and He knows it is a good thing. But as the creator he also knows that sex has the power to cause us a lot of pain. He loves us and wants to protect us from that pain. You ought to want to protect yourself too. We are gonna get practical on how to protect ourselves from that pain as we break out into small groups right now.

BREAK THE ICE

What is the most valuable thing you own right now? Do you think it will be more valuable or less valuable in 10 years?

*leader note* Two weeks ago we encouraged our students to start memorizing Matthew 28:18-20, The Great Commission. Take some time to check in on your students and encourage them to keep going if they haven’t memorized it yet.

SMALL GROUP QUESTIONS 

1. Read 1 John 3:1, Psalm 86:15, Deuteronomy 7:9, Romans 8:37-39, and Isaiah 54:10, what do all these verses have in common?

1 John 3:1
1 See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! But the people who belong to this world don’t recognize that we are God’s children because they don’t know him.

Psalm 86:15
15 But you, O Lord, are a God of compassion and mercy, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.

Deuteronomy 7:9
9 Understand, therefore, that the Lord your God is indeed God. He is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and lavishes his unfailing love on those who love him and obey his commands.

Romans 8:37-39
37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. 38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Isaiah 54:10
10 For the mountains may move and the hills disappear, but even then my faithful love for you will remain. My covenant of blessing will never be broken,” says the Lord, who has mercy on you.

2. What are some ways God shows us His love for us?

3. Read Psalm 46:1, Psalm 5:11, Isaiah 41:10, Deuteronomy 31:6 and 2 Thessalonians 3:3, what do these verses tell us about God?

Psalm 46:1
1 God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.

Isaiah 41:10
10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Deuteronomy 31:6
6 So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

2 Thessalonians 3:3
3 But the Lord is faithful; he will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one.

4. One way God protects us is creating boundaries or “rules” for us to live in. Can you think of some commands God may have given to protect us?

5. What does the Bible say about sex and the boundaries God has set up for it? Let’s pull out our phones and try to find some verses to answer this question.

6. What are some boundaries we can set up in our lives to protect us from falling into sexual sin?

MOVING FORWARD

Now we all know sex is powerful and it can be tempting, whether it is watching porn, thinking lustfully about someone, or crossing boundaries with your boyfriend or girlfriend. We know the pain it can cause but we also know that avoiding sexual sin feels a lot easier said than done. But one of the gifts God has given us to help us honor him is community. We can help each other avoid sexual sin and heal from our past with it.

*Allow your group to share the specific boundaries that they want to set up to avoid sexual sin. Write them down so as a group you can continually pray for each other and check in on each other. In the future if someone in the group messes up with a boundary and shares it with the group make sure to handle that conversation with grace and prayer, not condemnation. The last thing they need is to feel more ashamed.*