Godly Friendships - Week 1, Day 1

Go, Go, Go (Friends Shape Who You Are)

I was 18 years old. There was only one week left before I would be going to the college of my dreams. I was heading home from a student ministry party, my last one with my good friend Shaun. Now Shaun was the kind of friend who was a little rowdy and liked to take chances. After hanging around him for a few months, I found myself making some crazy decisions with girls, cars; you name it.

As we drove back to Shaun’s house, a car in front of us was going entirely too slow. My friend Shaun told me to pass her. I said, “Shaun, are you crazy? This is a two-lane road, and that other lane over there is for oncoming traffic. This area is too hilly. Forget it.” Shaun began to call me a chicken, and I hated being called a chicken. I looked at Shaun and said, “Hold on!” I slammed onto the accelerator, and away we went. I shot past that woman so fast that her wig fell off. Just as I passed her, coming over the hill was another car. I dropped my automatic transmission down to second to get some more speed and just in the nick of time edged in front of the lady and just missed a head-on collision with a police officer. Todd, did you say police officer? Yes, I did. Mr. Officer Friendly turned on his lights and began to turn around after me. Now being the strong Christian young man I was, I knew I was in big trouble, and the best thing for me to do was pull over and get my multiple tickets, lose my car for college and walk the rest of the days of my life. Just as I put my signal on and began applying the brake to the car, my friend Shaun said, “Floor it!” There was no time for discussion. Either I continued to apply the brake or slam down on the accelerator. I wanted to impress Shaun, and I didn’t want multiple tickets, so I took off. I slammed the gear shifter down to first gear, hit into second, and the chase was on. I was flying. I could hear in my window the sirens of Officer Friendly, but he still wasn’t in eyesight of me. Just a few more yards ahead, I had another decision to make. Coming up was a fork in the road, and I had to choose if I was going to try to get on the highway or turn towards an outer road. “Shaun, which way should I go?” “Outer road!” He yelled. I slammed on the brakes, turned the car as hard as I could, and continued on down the outer road. At the bottom of the road, we pulled over and turned off the lights of the car, hoping Officer Friendly would go to the highway. As we sat there, we heard the sirens get louder and louder. If he turned on the outer road, I was going to jail. How could I have been so stupid? What could have possibly gotten me into this much trouble?

On the other hand, Shaun was hyped up next to me. “This is cool, Todd. I can’t believe you just did that.”

But I was shaking. What would I tell my parents? What would I tell my church? What would I tell Jesus? Which way would the officer go?

Each one of your friends shapes and molds you. (1 Cor. 15:33) The bottom line is you become like the friends you have. You pick up on their strengths and their weaknesses. If your friends love Jesus, then you will love Jesus. If your friends drink, then you will be tempted to drink as well. If your friends like to outrun police officers, then you will probably try to as well.
Shaun’s friendship was leading me down a road I didn’t want to go down. I was allowing Shaun to control me, my actions, my words, my life. I needed to evaluate this friendship seriously.

You might be saying, that’s a good point, Todd, but how do you evaluate a friendship to see if it is good or bad? Glad you asked. I came up with this little list after this car chase with Officer Friendly was over.

Ask yourself these key questions to see how good your friends really are:
Do they care what God thinks of them? (their actions, words, desires)
Do they boast about his/her sins?
Do they tell you the truth even when it hurts?
Are they loyal?
Are they encouraging?
Do they brag on your strengths, cover your weaknesses, and refuse to talk behind your back?

Are they willing to go the extra mile for you?

Shaun looked at me as we could see the lights of the police car and said, “You know, there is no reason to get both of us in trouble. I mean, you were driving the car. I was just an innocent bystander.” Shaun was getting out of the car and heading for the bushes and trees by the road. “Where do you think you are going?” I said. “We are in this together.” “No, we’re not. You slammed on the gas, and you passed the car. See you later, Todd.” Was this friendship a loser or what?

I sat there by myself, watching the police lights come over the hill in my rearview mirror. Officer Friendly drove past the outer road and headed down the highway. He must have thought I went that way. I couldn’t believe my eyes and ears. I was in the clear. I wasn’t going to get busted after all.

After seeing the police car drive away, Shaun tried to get back into the car to congratulate me, but I was too quick for that. Off I went down the road, gladly leaving this friendship behind. Shaun walked home. I drove home going about 20mph and praying the whole way. I asked God, first of all, to forgive me for driving like I just did. I was fortunate. Someone could have gotten hurt; the lady, Shaun, me, the officer. What I did was wrong, and I wanted God to know for sure that I agreed with Him that it was wrong and that I wouldn’t be doing that again. I also told God how sorry I was for following Shaun and his ways more than His. Shaun didn’t die on a cross for me. Shaun didn’t love me like God. Why would I ever listen to anyone else other than Jesus? Have you ever thought about that? Jesus:

Has never let you down.
Has never given up on you.
Has never left you alone.
Has changed your life.
Has forgiven you unconditionally.
Has loved you no matter what you do.
Was willing to lay His life down for you.

After that night, my friendship with Shaun was over. I decided after that experience that I was going to surround myself with friends that loved Jesus and were determined to follow Him all day, every day. My advice for you today is this: If you are involved in a close friendship that draws you away from your Ultimate Best Friend, you had better get out of that friendship quickly. Not only will you get hurt, but your relationship with God will be hurt as well.

Time Out

1. Here are a few friendship verses that you can study further on:
Proverbs 17:17, Proverbs 11:13, 1 Samuel 18:1-4
Proverbs 18:24, John 15:13, Proverbs 26:28
Proverbs 27:17, Hebrews 3:13, 1 Corinthians. 13
Proverbs 27:6, Romans 15:7, 2 Corinthians 6:14-17
Proverbs 27:9, Philippians 2:3-4, Proverbs 13:20
Pick three and write down your insights below.

2. Write down the names of your top 5 friends.

3. Are there any friendships that pull you away from Christ?

4. Looking at the credentials Jesus has on being your friend, who is your best friend?

5. If it’s Jesus, will you be careful to be just as good a friend back to Him as He is to you?