Godly Friendships - Week 4, Day 1

The Dream Team (Friendship Test)

The Dream Team. Have you ever heard of them? In 1992 the United States Olympic Basketball team was nicknamed the “Dream Team,” and that team was loaded with incredible talent. On that team was Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Clyde the Glide Drexler, Patrick Ewing, Charles Barkley, and Scottie Pippen, just to name a few. They crushed the competition on their way to winning the gold medal. They were the best team ever assembled on a basketball court.

Just like the Dream Team was unstoppable, you need a dream team of friends who, say it with me now, brag on your strengths, cover your weaknesses, and never talk behind your back.

Proverbs 12:26 says, “A righteous man is cautious in friendships.”

The Bible is warning us to be careful about who we put on our dream team because, as we said last week, our friends will influence us for good or for bad. Be careful who you put on your dream team because that person might lead you to a place you don’t want to be. Proverbs is big about who we should choose to be on our dream team.

Now let me preface what I am about to say with this: Having a dream team of people who help you grow spiritually doesn’t mean that you blow off anyone who is far from God. We are to be a light in this world. We are to care about and pray for and reach out and help anyone who is far from God.

When I was in High School, my three best friends all decided to start partying. They would go out on the weekends and get drunk and smoke Mary Jane. I had already had a front-row seat to what those two things will do to a person’s life, so I backed away from them. I stopped going out with them to parties. I still had an influence on their life. I prayed for those guys; I listened to their problems; they knew I had their back, but they also knew I wasn’t going to be led astray to do what they were doing.

We have to continually ask ourselves, “am I the influencer, or am I being influenced by them? Am I walking with the counsel of the wise, or am I walking with fools?” Proverbs gives us some insight on who should not qualify to be on our dream team. This isn’t an exhaustive list, but it’s a great place to start.

1. A person who has no regard for God or His ways.

This person’s mantra is if it feels good, then do it. Proverbs 1:10 says,

My child, if sinners entice you, turn your back on them! They may say, “Come and join us. Let’s hide and kill someone! Just for fun, let’s ambush the innocent! Think of the great things we will get! We’ll fill our houses with all the stuff that we take. Come throw in your lot with us; we’ll all share the loot.” My child, don’t go along with them. Stay far away from their paths.

Some people just want to do the wrong thing. That word “entice” means to allure, to persuade. Don’t follow them. It’s the person who says,

“It’s not that big of a deal. No one will get hurt. It’s not really cheating; it’s not really sex—it’s not intercourse. You’ll still be a virgin. Let’s just fool around a little. No one will ever know. It’s just this one time.”

Steer clear of those people because they don’t have your best interest at heart. All they want to do is use you, and when they are done with you, you’ll be left with regrets.

Proverbs 14:7 says, “Stay away from a foolish man.”

The second person we need NOT put on our dream team is…

2. A hotheaded person.

Proverbs 22:24, “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.
There was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him to hammer a nail in the back fence every time he lost control. The first day the boy drove 37 nails into the fence. Then it gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally, the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. His father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he could hold his temper. The days passed, and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father led his son to the fence.

"You have done well, but look at the holes in the fence," he said. "When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like the nail holes. You can put a knife in a person and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say 'I'm sorry,' the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one."

Why did that dad care about his son’s temper? Because he knew all the damage that his son would do if he didn’t get control of it. Why does God say stay away from a hothead? Because God knows that one of two bad things can happen. We will become a hothead, or a hothead could injure us, verbally or physically, and God has a better plan for our life.

Stay away from the person who wants to fight you all the time. Stay away from the person who blows up over the smallest things. Love them, pray for them, invite them to church, tell them about Jesus, but God says just don’t put them on your dream team.

Think about your friends for a second. Do you have any friends who are trying to lead you to do the wrong thing? Do you have any friends who are always mad and always going off? Love them, pray for them, invite them to church, tell them about Jesus, but God says just don’t put them on your dream team.

Time Out

1. It’s time for a little self-examination 2.0. A few days ago, I asked you to list your top three friends and see if they passed the friendship definition test. Now I want you to see if your dream team passes what we looked at today. I’m going to ask you a series of questions, and I want you to evaluate each of your friends to see if they should be on your dream team. Ready?
· Does he/she care what God thinks of them? (Their actions, words, desires)
· Does he/she try to get you to compromise or do the wrong things?
· Does he/she boast about his/her sins?
· Does he/she get easily angered?
· Do they have a bad temper?
· Are they kind with their words, or do they use their words as a weapon to hurt other people or hurt you?

2. Now you are in the hot seat. I want you to evaluate yourself using the same questions to see if you are the kind of person that needs to be on someone else’s dream team.
· Do you care what God thinks of you? (Their actions, words, desires)
· Do you try to get other people to compromise and do the wrong things?
· Do you boast?
· Do you get easily angered?
· Do you have a bad temper?
· Are you kind with your words, or do you use your words as a weapon to hurt other people or hurt your friends?

3. Do you have an unbeatable dream team, or is your dream team weak?