One of the sneakiest and most detrimental emotions that we can carry is envy. During the weekend message, we were given this definition for envy: “Envy is resenting goodness in someone else’s life while at the same time, ignoring God’s goodness in our lives.” If we let it take over, envy will destroy us from the inside out. Proverbs 14:30 puts it this way, “Envy rots the bones” (NLT). If we want to be fully devoted followers of Christ, we have to let go of envy and recognize that God’s goodness is extended to everyone around us, not just us, and celebrate accordingly.
What is something that you were envious of in grade school that you look back on and laugh about now?
1. Read Matthew 20:1-16. What do you observe about the landowner in this passage of Scripture?
Matthew 20:1-16
And “For the Kingdom of Heaven is like the landowner who went out early one morning to hire workers for his vineyard. 2He agreed to pay the normal daily wage and sent them out to work. 3“At nine o’clock in the morning he was passing through the marketplace and saw some people standing around doing nothing. 4So he hired them, telling them he would pay them whatever was right at the end of the day. 5So they went to work in the vineyard. At noon and again at three o’clock he did the same thing. 6“At five o’clock that afternoon he was in town again and saw some more people standing around. He asked them, ‘Why haven’t you been working today?’ 7“They replied, ‘Because no one hired us.’ “The landowner told them, ‘Then go out and join the others in my vineyard.’ 8“That evening he told the foreman to call the workers in and pay them, beginning with the last workers first. 9When those hired at five o’clock were paid, each received a full day’s wage. 10When those hired first came to get their pay, they assumed they would receive more. But they, too, were paid a day’s wage. 11When they received their pay, they protested to the owner, 12‘Those people worked only one hour, and yet you’ve paid them just as much as you paid us who worked all day in the scorching heat.’ 13“He answered one of them, ‘Friend, I haven’t been unfair! Didn’t you agree to work all day for the usual wage? 14Take your money and go. I wanted to pay this last worker the same as you. 15Is it against the law for me to do what I want with my money? Should you be jealous because I am kind to others?’ 16“So those who are last now will be first then, and those who are first will be last.”
2. If you had been one of the workers who started early in the day, would your response have been similar or different from theirs? Why or why not?
3. What did the workers who started working early in the day fail to recognize?
4. Read Psalm 107:1-3. How does gratitude help us battle against envy?
Psalm 107:1-3
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. 2Has the Lord redeemed you? Then speak out! Tell others he has redeemed you from your enemies. 3For he has gathered the exiles from many lands, from east and west, from north and south.
1. Name some of the common things that people are envious of today.
2. How have you seen envy negatively impact someone’s life?
3. What is one way God has been good specifically to you, and how does remembering His goodness motivate you to let go of envy?
Break up into groups of two or three. Share in your group one area that you have been struggling with envy, along with one step you can take to let go of envy this week, whether that is showing gratitude for what you have, celebrating with someone instead of being envious of them, or something else. Pray together, asking God to help each one of you as you set out to let go of envy.
Because envy is a bad friend to us, seeking to destroy us from the inside out, we have to let go of it. If we want to let go of envy, we have to take a look at our hearts. For the next few minutes, let’s take a look at three heart-postures to help us let go of envy: humility, compassion, and trust.
The ugly truth about envy is that it is extremely self-centered. When we are envious, we act and think as if the world revolves around us. We assume we should get everything we want and that, if we do not, everything in the world is wrong. What we need instead is an attitude of humility, remembering that we are most definitely not the center of the universe because, of course, God is.
1. Read James 4:6-7.
James 4:6-7
And he gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 7So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
2. What should be our motivation for choosing humility, according to this passage of Scripture?
3. Why do you think so many of us struggle with pride?
4. How would humility help us let go of envy?
Envy makes us so self-focused that we forget about the people around us. When we are envious, we often forget that God is at work in others’ lives, not just ours. If we start to recognize others' needs and desires, their joy as God provides for them, and have compassion for them, envy will fade away.
1. Read Philippians 2:3-4.
Philippians 2:3-4
Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.
2. What stands out to you about the command in this passage of Scripture?
3. Does living this way come naturally for you? Why or why not?
4. How does compassion help us let go of envy?
We were reminded during the weekend message that when we feel envy, our problem is not with the person we envy; it is really with God. When we are envious, we are communicating to God that what He has given us is not actually enough. The truth is, we have a God who takes care of us and knows our needs. He is trustworthy, and we can trust Him to take care of us.
1. Read Matthew 10:29-31.
Matthew 10:29-31
What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. 30And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. 31So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.
2. What stands out to you about God’s care for His people in this passage of Scripture?
3. What is one way that God has shown His care and provision for you in the past year?
4. How does trusting God to take care of us help us let go of envy?
Pick one of the heart postures you would like to grow in: humility, compassion, or trust in God that you would like to grow in. How can you take a step toward growing in that area? Share with your group the area that you want to grow in, along with the steps you can take to grow in that area. Your group leader will end your time in prayer, asking God to give you all boldness to let go of envy and grow in each one of these heart postures.
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